A Practice of Pre-Forgiveness – Preparing for Unburdening and Healing


Guest Author

Blessings are a form of alchemy; the energetic structure of the words will change the structure of you as a person.

This Blessing Ceremony is shared by Algonquin Medicine Person, Pete Bernard. It came to us via Carole Trepanier, one of the presenters of our webinar series Spiritual Companionship for the Dying.

Very grateful to both Pete and Carole.


The Blessing Ceremony is a powerful practice for healing/freeing oneself and others from the Unforgiveness State. It is a foundational step on the Path to Forgiveness. This ceremony LEADS to forgiveness but does not DO forgiveness. It is an outcome.

We acknowledge that there can be initial reluctance or unwillingness to walk down the Path to Forgiveness. Unforgiveness can be the inability to see in terms of outcomes. What is the outcome of not forgiving? As the Unforgiveness State can be described as an ongoing, damaging deep intimacy with those who have wounded you (you are continuously energetically reliving it), forgiveness can be defined as “I don’t want it, I don’t need it, and I won’t carry it anymore.” Forgiveness is not a validation of the wound or saying that what happened is OK. If walked, the Path to Forgiveness leads to profound unburdening and healing. The greater injustice is not to heal.

This ceremony consists of blessing all involved in the wounding: the one who was hurt (you), the one who did the hurting, the ones who observed/watched/witnessed the hurting (often we believe they could have stopped things or changed the outcome), and the God of your understanding (we may feel anger or disappointment here). All these people’s lives were impacted by the incident in question. Blessings are a form of alchemy; the energetic structure of the words will change the structure of you as a person.

  • Begin with your eyes closed, in a relaxed state.
  • Imagine a version of you sitting in front of you. Say the following Mantra: “I bless you.” or “I bless myself.” Repeat this mantra until you experience a significant change in your mind/body connection.
  • Repeat the exact same process, saying “I bless you” to each of the remaining groups: the person who caused the pain, the person(s) who observed/watched/witnessed, and the God of your understanding. Ensure you repeat the mantra until you experience a significant change in your mind/body connection for each.
  • When all 4 groups have been completed, you are then closer to experiencing authentic forgiveness. The ceremony can be repeated many times or become a daily practice if needed.
  • Soon you will begin to see what it is you have learned from the situation and will be closer to honoring it (and the persons involved) as a teacher. This is real, true, Alchemy. Usually one will need some time and space to process these blessings and lessons. 
  • Once you’ve completed the above ceremony as often as is needed, and you are now ready, you may choose to forgive. This is done by making an offering (something natural) to the Earth or to a Sacred Fire, to let go of any woundedness that was, and to thank the situation and all involved for the teachings. Hold the offerings and pray with them to put your prayers, intentions and gratitude into them before offering them up.
  • Enjoy a more healed version of your life and world!

Pete Bernard

Pete Bernard is an Algonquin from the Algonquins of Pikwàkanagàn First Nation in Golden Lake, Ontario, Canada. He offers private healing ceremonies, rituals, group healing events, and various training programs for those interested in learning to heal. 

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