What was promised? is a large format mixed media piece that I’ve been working on for a few years. It followed my lifeline of grief after 2023 refused to stop being the worst year. We had lost our surprise daughter at 36 weeks, my husband had cancer, and we had both lost our jobs, all on top of life’s normal little griefs. At nearly 4’ tall, it’s my largest work and the slowest piece I’ve ever been in conversation with. The title comes from a line that I rage-journaled on the base layer that always seemed to surface as I worked on it. There’s not much we’re promised in grief, except that there is new life and transformation that comes as we traverse through it. It doesn’t often offer us a resolution, a full stop. Instead, it offers us breath, discovery, redemption, something that’s alive. This push and pull was why I employed the technique of decollage, in which many layers are added and then peeled back. It’s uncontrollable and you have to be ready to receive whatever happens. I’ve only been able to do this when I have studio guests. Another little gift of grief—transformation never comes in isolation.